08 Jul Dear Husbands of the world
Dear Husbands of the world…
I’m writing to you on behalf of your wives, the mothers of your children, the women that hold the fort down while you are at work, slaving away, providing for your family. We thank you, we love you and we appreciate all that you do. We do, seriously. But please, for the love of God, stop hanging it over our head like you deserve some sort of reward every week for doing it. Stop implying that you deserve a blow job because you passed the vacuum. Don’t insinuate that you’re doing us a favour by putting YOUR kids to bed so we can have a girls night with our mum friends or go to yoga. We didn’t ask for a trip to Tahiti for GROWING your child in OUR BODIES, and then BIRTHING said child, and then feeding it with magic milk produced through our beautiful breasts, so please don’t think you get anything for putting your child to bed. It’s called being a dad. That’s your reward.
I know most of you know this already, because I think every mom blogger on the planet has written about it at least 5 times since 2012, and I’m sure your wife even tagged you in a post that her sister’s best friend posted on Facebook, or you were sent a link in an email, but I am here to remind you that we mums work just as hard as you do. And yes, we still just don’t get paid for all that we do.
I’m sure you are aware that we aren’t just chatting over lattes and toasties about Master Chef with our friends while the kids play in the park. We aren’t just going to ballet lessons and the grocery store and picking up the mail. We expend mass amounts of energy every minute of everyday on keeping your children alive and healthy. Ok maybe not when we are taking a minute to decompress and pin some cool Elf on a Shelf ideas on Pinterest, but most minutes we are doing 1 to sometimes 5 things at a time, that are general essential every day tasks that keep ourselves and your children, alive, healthy, happy and grounded.
And in any case, if you have’t realized, we too, or many of us anyway, are trying to provide financially. So we too have that same pressure you have. So many mums work full time, part time or have businesses of our own. We somehow manage this, all the while getting the kids up, fed, ready for daycare and school, as well as make their lunches that are healthy, non-repetitive and are 100% nut free, keep the house somewhat clean and tidy, cook healthy-well-balanced-kid friendly dinners, stay on top of the laundry, never mind trying to stay fit, attractive and mentally sane!
Yes we know you cut the lawn and change the light bulbs and kill the spiders, among many other things. We love you for that, we really do, but could you just lay off the ‘you owe me’ comments. Us mums have enough guilt on our plates to contend with. You see those bags under your wife’s eyes… Look at her right now. Look under her eyes. They may be covered up with some crazy awesome concealer (which probably took her over a decade to find the right one that works with her skin tone) but either way those bags under her eyes, yeah, they are filled with guilt. They fill up each night while she lays in bed thinking of all the things she could be doing better. They fill up while she’s thinking of the things she forgot to pick up at the grocery store, and the lasagna that didn’t really turn out that great for dinner, and the stain on your son’s new shirt that she can’t get out. She’s wondering if the kids are having too much screen time and how it may effect them in the long term. She’s wondering when the last time you guys had sex and feels guilty that it’s not more often. She’s thinking of the 10 pounds she wants to lose but doesn’t know how to find the time to exercise, and she’s wondering how every other mums manages every little aspect of being a mum without tearing their hair out. And speaking of hair, she’s thinking it’s time to get a hair cut and cover those greys that have started to come in, but doesn’t want to spend too much, as it may off tip the budget this month. Yeah, so please, enough guilt tripping. Your wife has enough frequent flyer points from guilt tips to go around the world 10 times.
The bottom line is, we all do our part in this crazy, amazing, fun filled, yet incredibly draining and ridiculous roller coaster called marriage, but I think I speak for many mums when I say we mums would feel much more compelled to be more romantic, and a little more frisky and fun loving like the girl you first fell in love with if you could just be a little more aware of all that we do and appreciate it whole heartily and not expect a reward for doing your job as a Dad.
(Post by Blogging Babe: Heather)