07 Apr 7 Questions you should never ask a Woman that has just had a baby
7 Questions you should never ask a Woman that has just had a baby
It’s a challenging time for women shortly after giving birth. Not only are hormones still amok, but having to deal with the trauma of birth, especially all of the body changes is not fun. Adjusting to life with a newborn is not always seamless, even for a seasoned parent; pair that, with the lack of sleep, and it can become very overwhelming.
Many people want to offer their support and help during this time, and most of those thoughtful gestures are appreciated, but there are some things that you should never ask a woman that has just given birth.
Here are 7 questions you should never ask a Woman that has just had a baby:
- How long did it take? Not only has she just gone through one of, if not the most, PAINFUL. EXPERIENCE. EVER, but reminding her of it shortly after giving birth is not the most sympathetic thing. Many women will tell you that a few months after giving birth, they can hardly remember the experience. This is very likely what the brain does on purpose so that the human race can actually go on. Can you imagine remembering your birth pain, FOREVER?
- Did you have natural child birth? OK, childbirth is childbirth, no one gets out of it unscathed no matter how your baby is born. Just giving birth is enough to warrant a medal. Pushing something out of your vagina for hours or getting sliced open across the lower abdomen, is NO party. Asking if a mother had natural child birth may imply that there is an EASY BUTTON you can push during birth, and unfortunately, there’s not.
- You’re not breastfeeding? Unless you’ve been living on the moon for the past decade, everyone knows that breastfeeding is best nutrition for your baby. But not all women choose that method for themselves and their baby. Maybe they had a reason for not being able to exclusively breastfed, and so they chose to bottle feed instead. Breastfeeding is a choice and ultimately no woman should feel ashamed to feed her baby in the manner that she wants to. If you know that a mother wants to breastfeed, support her and let her know that there is really good help available if she needs it, but if it doesn’t work out or she changes her mind, that’s OK too. Don’t you just love freedom of choice…ah!
- How much weight have you lost? Do I really need to elaborate here? Like, Duh! (Sorry, I just had to throw that in there, it’s so ’90’s)
- Do you think you’re going to have anymore? Seriously, refer to #1! I’m not sure that a few weeks after giving birth is the right time to ask a new mom this question. I mean, consider that she only gets 3 hours of sleep a night, her body is still aching, it probably hurts to pee, she hasn’t pooped in days, she never wants to see a penis again, and she’s probably cried at least twice, no, three times so far this week. Get it? Good.
- When did the doctor say you can have sex again? This question is more for the men, and I briefly touched on this point in number 5. To say that a woman is remotely interested in anything being put back in her vagina shortly, and when I say “shortly,” I mean five weeks after giving birth, is a gross exaggeration-HUGE! I’m sorry but for most of us, we’re not into it. It’s hard to think about being sexy when you don’t shower as often as you would like. Seriously, taking a shower is a luxury! Let’s not even speak about shaving…even if we could see it again, it ain’t happening. It’s no disrespect to our men, we still adore them, it’s just going to take a while to feel like a woman again instead of an engorged, lactating cow, I mean, mother.
- Is your baby sleeping through the night yet? Every new mom dreams of the moment that her baby sleeps through the night, but truthfully neonates are not supposed to sleep through the night. Newborns have very short sleep cycles because they need to eat frequently. They usually eat every two to three hours, which is normal for a newborn. If your baby doesn’t sleep through the night for weeks, even months, it’s normal. Some babies aren’t good sleepers and won’t sleep through the night until almost 1 or even after. Don’t stress out about it. It’s not a competition and you shouldn’t feel discouraged by it.
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Love & Hugs,